Grace, Mercy & Discipline

She can do it all.
She makes the rules.
She is in charge.
She has an opinion on everything.

Who knew you were a grown person at three years old? She really thinks this. She tells me all the time “When I was a little girl…” and is just beyond shocked when I tell her “Kate, you still ARE a little girl.”

And, you know, she is really good at trying to convince us that she IS right:

She is a negotiator.
She is a manipulator.
She is stubborn.
She is independent.
She is so very smart.

She is what we will affectionately call “spirited”, and I love her so much it hurts.

If we give her an inch, she takes not just one mile, but 50 miles. And I am not exaggerating. Not even slightly. So to say that we have to be diligent in our discipline is an understatement. We cannot give in to her, or she thinks that she really IS in charge and she completely takes advantage of it.

However, I don’t want her to perceive us, her parents, as dictators and punishers. Yes, we do punish her, but we don’t want her to think that is all we do. We want her to understand mercy and grace and what that means. How much easier must it be for a child to understand God’s mercy and His grace, and what that means for them, when they have received mercy and grace from their own parents?

But how do we accomplish that? How to we let her experience mercy and grace without just letting her get away with whatever she wants. Because that just wouldn’t work.

In my opinion, the best way to show our kids mercy and grace is when they mess up.  If they mess up, or if they accidentally do something that causes negative consequences, they might deserve to be disciplined, but it is a perfect time for us to show them mercy and grace. It is the perfect time for us to explain “Yes, you did this and you deserve to receive some type of punishment, right? But I know you did not do this on purpose. I know you made a mistake. So this time, I will not give you any consequences. But, what can we do to make sure that this does not happen again? You’re not getting a free pass. You can learn from this. What have you learned?”

You see, we can still learn while receiving grace and mercy, and isn’t that the point of discipline? Focus on the Family has a great chart that shows the purpose of discipline. It specifically defines the purpose of discipline as to “train for correction and maturity”.

I am thankful for a Creator who freely gives us both grace and mercy, if we choose to put our trust in the Son, Jesus Christ. We are bestowed mercy when we are not punished for our sins, as we deserve. Mercy is NOT getting what we DO deserve. We deserve hell, but we are delivered from judgement through Jesus Christ.

I’m thankful for God’s grace, and for the blessings and kindness that He gives us, though I am not worthy. Grace is a gift, it is getting something we DO NOT deserve.

I want my children to experience grace and mercy from their parents. And above that, I want them to know that they have parents who mess up and daily receive grace and mercy from our heavenly father. As parents, we’re to lead by example. And leading a strong-willed child is no easy task.